Being a stay-at-home mom was a very consious decision, that I took. I have not regretted taking such a decision 95% of the time. Of the rest of the 5%, almost 4.5% consists of the time I spend answering annoying personal questions. I don't mind people I love asking me, I know they do so out of genuine concern for me. But, people who only know me name, taking the authority to just randomly comment on my life, irks the hell out of me. So here are the top questions that annoy me. What do you do all day, you must have so much free time to yourself. Yep, after I'm done feeding my son, cleaning up the house after him, dropping and picking him up from school, doing laundry, doing the dishes, and if chechi is not coming, preparing breakfast, lunch and dinner, prepping for the next day and attend to the needs of 4 different people in the house; I usually sit in my velvet robe, with a face mask on and sip iced tea all day. Aren't you worried about forgetting everything you studied?? NOPES! Totally cool with being completely out of touch with something I worked hard and spent countless sleepless nights for almost 7 years of my life. No biggies. XYZ has two children and she has career. So what's your excuse?? Good for her, I salute her! if I could I would truly have had her nominated for an award for what she is doing every single day without fail. But that doesn't have to be the reason why I should be guilt-tripped for not having a career. She did what was best for her, I did what is best for me. Period. (and also, I'm sure the person who asked me this would be the same person who asks me "how can you leave your son like this and go to work?") Aren't your parents disappointed in you?? My mother knows me better that I know myself. Yes, she is a bit sad that I am not currently working, but she would rather see me content with what I have, than see me as a harried, anxious, temperamental being, which I would be if I tried to string along a home and a career together. Aren't you setting a bad example for your children?? Nope. His dad is showing him how to go after your dreams. I'm showing him that it's ok if you can't do everything together and Ace everything all at once. If you are patient and trust Allah, everything will eventually work out for your good.

GIRL FRIENDS

While I was growing up, almost all the movies I watched taught me that female friendships are not to be taken seriously. Your girlfriends will smile to your face and steal your Man behind your back. And until that moment of betrayal,you will talk only about men and finding love. The Boyfriend ™ is your ultimate path to peace and fulfillment. And then, I grew up and realised, ooh am I wrong!! All my life, I have been truly blessed to have a constant circle of girls around me to lift me up when I am down. My friends, always ready for a chat session to cheer me up, when I just don't feel upto it. My cousin sisters who give me great advice, whether studies, fashion, marriage or mommy related(and my personal makeup artists for my wedding). My sister-in-laws always ready to lend a ear for my rants, until I have calmed down. And last but not least, my sister who would always be by my side whenever (and I mean, WHENEVER) I needed her. When I had exam blues, when I got engaged, married or first found out I was pregnant, when I was wading through many problems in my life, I have had the constant support of these lovely women in my life. Whatever the problem is, I can be sure that at least one, if not all will be available for helping me out. And I can say confidently say that the feeling is mutual. We've seen each other through our college days,pre-exam stress bawls, awkward pennukaanals, pre-marriage jitters, pregnancy tests, post-partum blues,sleepless mommy nights. My husband is always astonished about how much we know about even the tiniest accomplishments and problems in each other's lives.(To be honest, he is a bit afraid of just how much my friends know about him😀) So to any teenage girls, who are reading this; I want to say this: All what you see in movies, is pure trash. Never EVER let go of your galpals, if you know what is good for you. And to the men reading this: DONOT underestimate friendship between women. Again, what you see in movies is pure trash.

Uppa.

This is without a doubt the most difficult post I have written. But it seems fitting that I restart my almost dead old blog with this. Two years have passed in my life without my uppa in it. To this day, I haven't actually had the will power to sit and write about him, because for me it is still as difficult to talk about him in past sense now, just as it was then. But to write about everything thing else in my life and not about him would be the most selfish thing I could do, because uppa was the person who read my first poem, and said "Aahaa.. nannaytindallo!! you should write more!" Every certificate I've got since then, every compliment I've received and every like I get here for my writing goes back to those seemingly tiny words of encouragement. There are many ways in which I could describe uppa; a protective husband, a devoted son, a pampering grandfather, a selfless philanthropist... but the only way I want to is as a loving, imperfectly perfect father. The year Harry Potter and Order of the Phoenix was released, my sister and I were waiting to get our hands on it. Uppa had gone on his monthly trip to Kasargod. The moment he reached back, I grabbed his bag for my usual scrounging for magazines and snacks. I was disappointed to find none, and on top of that, uppa ordered me to take out all his laundry immediately. I sulkily pulled it all out, and out fell a heavy yellow brick... the new book! BRAND SPANKING FRESH AND NEW!!! and just 2 days after it was released!!! I remember screaming out loud, and immediately getting into a fight with Itha as to who gets to read it first, without so much as a thankyou to uppa (yep, parenting is a thankless job. I realise what uppa and umma have been saying all along) But I also remember the sheer delighted smile on uppa's face that the scene had played out exactly as he had imagined it. Fast forward to a few years later, uppa and I were sitting at our dining table for breakfast. The disease had already taken hold of his brain, and words came with difficulty to him. He was staring at the newspaper, aimlessly turning pages. And then suddenly he pushed the paper towards me and said "Ninte aal..." (your person). I didn't understand what he was saying and kept asking what he meant, and he kept on pushing the paper towards me. I glanced at it, and saw in it an article with Daniel Radcliffe's picture in it. I remember fighting back tears, and the sudden warmth that spread in my heart because of the realization that Alzheimer's could take away uppa's words and his thoughts, but it could never take away the father in him. The same father who would scold us that Harry Potter was just fantasy, and still travel to Mangalore just so he could he get us the new book we were so eagerly waiting for.

Everything's all right in the right perspective!!

I was furious, I was depressed... It was the hottest day of summer so far, nothing had gone right in college that day, I had an assignment due tomorrow which I hadn't even started writing, and here i was standing in a crowded bus, which was stuck in a loooong traffic jam. I was ready to scream and lash out at anybody in my near vicinity at the slightest provocation. I stood holding at a bar in the bus, drowning in self-sympathy, when outside the window, I saw a man walking towards a shop. There was nothing wrong about the man,mexcept his legs. His right leg was placed in a peculiar way, his toes were touching the ground, but the rest was placed as if he was wearing an invisible high-heeled shoe. He was dragging his leg, and walking towards a shop, slowly and steadily, but he smiled and greeted every person on his way. Suddenly, I became acutely aware of both my legs touching my ground, and I was filled with shame at how I had been unnecessarily cribbing about my everyday problems. I sent up a silent guilty sorry, took a deep breath, and resolved to finish my assignment and not to procrastinate.
The man meanwhile, walked slowly upto the side of the shop, opened up a tap and washed away all the mud stuck underneath his feet, and walked back quite normally inside. I managed not to laugh out loud, but it was a close thing.
Thank you Lord, for teaching me a lesson AND making me smile.

Anti-Corruption!!! Really???

Right, so now everybody is all fired up and feeling patriotic about Anna Hazare's recent, and going on fight against corruption. Don't get me wrong, I am 100% behind his cause, but before we trash the government for all the corruption its been doing, I think we need to do a little introspection here. Are we all anti-corrupt??? if we examine our daily life, we can see countless examples where we bend the rules to get our own way. Not convinced??? lets see..

• You are in a train, the TTE comes along and you find out that you don't have your ID card with you. You and the TTE retire to a corner. It's all hush-hush for a few minutes, and then both you and him resume their respective work...familiar situation???
• You're in a long queue at a Government office, but then you realise you know the person sitting at the counter, so suddenly you jump from person no. 156 to person no. 3
• You want to see a movie, and you call for reservations, but the theatre has just informed you that tickets are not available right now. so you call your friends uncle, whose friend is the owner of the theatre.. and then BAM! you're watching the movie in the next show.
• You want an admission for your child at one of the leading schools, but its already past admission time, so you add in a little donation...problem solved!
• You accidentally jump a redlight, and the policeman catches you. You inform the policeman that you're a relative of the local MLA or something, so you're let off with a 'warning'.

If I sit and think about it, I could add more to this list, and I bet that you could too. So, all I want to say is, lets make our little contribution to anti-corruption movement and then go with free hearts and shout out our support!!! 

Coffee-lover all the way!!!!!!!!

If anything in my life deserves a blog of it's own, I should say that it is my cup of coffee. All the die-hard coffee fans around here will probably call it milk-water into which some coffee powder fell in, but I'll still call it Coffee, and proudly too!!! Maybe my love for coffee stems from the fact that I hate tea and plain milk. Due to that, my mother had to search for alternatives, and finally she settled for coffee(because she hates all the health drinks floating around) and that is how I discovered the legend called coffee.

The first thing that comes into my mind is the steaming cup of coffee Umma keeps ready for me early in the morning. Especially on cold December mornings, it's the only thing that keeps me up and ready for the long college day ahead.
When a class gets too boring for me, leaving me in no state for another one, the first place I run to is the coffee-machine.
During the long hours leading to the final examination, panic forces me to stay awake all night. I'll never forget the one night in the hostel where me and my best friend stayed up the whole night, cramming in the physiology of cardiovascular system...and we measured out that night in 6 cups of coffee. That night still remains fresh in my mind(though what I studied doesn't)
How can I forget that cherished cup of coffee the 6 of us share just before entering the clinics?? We each get 2 sips each before we don our coats and stride() into the clinics ready to meet patients.
And last but not the least, the special mug in my house, just for me and my cuppa!!!! You make my day brighter!!!!

The lamp that went out too fast...

You had dreams, yet you couldn't get them..
Somewhere you were a mother's pet, a daddy's girl, a brother's pet, a young mans life...
Where were the feminists, the guards of the society when the monsters came??
The plans you had, the dreams you wove, where the all worthless in front of one man's greed??

Was the life of a woman so cheap?
Did she not deserve to live, to achieve, to win???
Did she not deserve to go with dignity??
And even after this, are we going to keep quite??

Are we going to just go forward with life??
Pretend that nothing has happened??
That this cannot affect us??
RIP Soumya..May your soul attain peace...