Being a stay-at-home mom was a very consious decision, that I took. I have not regretted taking such a decision 95% of the time. Of the rest of the 5%, almost 4.5% consists of the time I spend answering annoying personal questions. I don't mind people I love asking me, I know they do so out of genuine concern for me. But, people who only know me name, taking the authority to just randomly comment on my life, irks the hell out of me. So here are the top questions that annoy me. What do you do all day, you must have so much free time to yourself. Yep, after I'm done feeding my son, cleaning up the house after him, dropping and picking him up from school, doing laundry, doing the dishes, and if chechi is not coming, preparing breakfast, lunch and dinner, prepping for the next day and attend to the needs of 4 different people in the house; I usually sit in my velvet robe, with a face mask on and sip iced tea all day. Aren't you worried about forgetting everything you studied?? NOPES! Totally cool with being completely out of touch with something I worked hard and spent countless sleepless nights for almost 7 years of my life. No biggies. XYZ has two children and she has career. So what's your excuse?? Good for her, I salute her! if I could I would truly have had her nominated for an award for what she is doing every single day without fail. But that doesn't have to be the reason why I should be guilt-tripped for not having a career. She did what was best for her, I did what is best for me. Period. (and also, I'm sure the person who asked me this would be the same person who asks me "how can you leave your son like this and go to work?") Aren't your parents disappointed in you?? My mother knows me better that I know myself. Yes, she is a bit sad that I am not currently working, but she would rather see me content with what I have, than see me as a harried, anxious, temperamental being, which I would be if I tried to string along a home and a career together. Aren't you setting a bad example for your children?? Nope. His dad is showing him how to go after your dreams. I'm showing him that it's ok if you can't do everything together and Ace everything all at once. If you are patient and trust Allah, everything will eventually work out for your good.

GIRL FRIENDS

While I was growing up, almost all the movies I watched taught me that female friendships are not to be taken seriously. Your girlfriends will smile to your face and steal your Man behind your back. And until that moment of betrayal,you will talk only about men and finding love. The Boyfriend ™ is your ultimate path to peace and fulfillment. And then, I grew up and realised, ooh am I wrong!! All my life, I have been truly blessed to have a constant circle of girls around me to lift me up when I am down. My friends, always ready for a chat session to cheer me up, when I just don't feel upto it. My cousin sisters who give me great advice, whether studies, fashion, marriage or mommy related(and my personal makeup artists for my wedding). My sister-in-laws always ready to lend a ear for my rants, until I have calmed down. And last but not least, my sister who would always be by my side whenever (and I mean, WHENEVER) I needed her. When I had exam blues, when I got engaged, married or first found out I was pregnant, when I was wading through many problems in my life, I have had the constant support of these lovely women in my life. Whatever the problem is, I can be sure that at least one, if not all will be available for helping me out. And I can say confidently say that the feeling is mutual. We've seen each other through our college days,pre-exam stress bawls, awkward pennukaanals, pre-marriage jitters, pregnancy tests, post-partum blues,sleepless mommy nights. My husband is always astonished about how much we know about even the tiniest accomplishments and problems in each other's lives.(To be honest, he is a bit afraid of just how much my friends know about him😀) So to any teenage girls, who are reading this; I want to say this: All what you see in movies, is pure trash. Never EVER let go of your galpals, if you know what is good for you. And to the men reading this: DONOT underestimate friendship between women. Again, what you see in movies is pure trash.

Uppa.

This is without a doubt the most difficult post I have written. But it seems fitting that I restart my almost dead old blog with this. Two years have passed in my life without my uppa in it. To this day, I haven't actually had the will power to sit and write about him, because for me it is still as difficult to talk about him in past sense now, just as it was then. But to write about everything thing else in my life and not about him would be the most selfish thing I could do, because uppa was the person who read my first poem, and said "Aahaa.. nannaytindallo!! you should write more!" Every certificate I've got since then, every compliment I've received and every like I get here for my writing goes back to those seemingly tiny words of encouragement. There are many ways in which I could describe uppa; a protective husband, a devoted son, a pampering grandfather, a selfless philanthropist... but the only way I want to is as a loving, imperfectly perfect father. The year Harry Potter and Order of the Phoenix was released, my sister and I were waiting to get our hands on it. Uppa had gone on his monthly trip to Kasargod. The moment he reached back, I grabbed his bag for my usual scrounging for magazines and snacks. I was disappointed to find none, and on top of that, uppa ordered me to take out all his laundry immediately. I sulkily pulled it all out, and out fell a heavy yellow brick... the new book! BRAND SPANKING FRESH AND NEW!!! and just 2 days after it was released!!! I remember screaming out loud, and immediately getting into a fight with Itha as to who gets to read it first, without so much as a thankyou to uppa (yep, parenting is a thankless job. I realise what uppa and umma have been saying all along) But I also remember the sheer delighted smile on uppa's face that the scene had played out exactly as he had imagined it. Fast forward to a few years later, uppa and I were sitting at our dining table for breakfast. The disease had already taken hold of his brain, and words came with difficulty to him. He was staring at the newspaper, aimlessly turning pages. And then suddenly he pushed the paper towards me and said "Ninte aal..." (your person). I didn't understand what he was saying and kept asking what he meant, and he kept on pushing the paper towards me. I glanced at it, and saw in it an article with Daniel Radcliffe's picture in it. I remember fighting back tears, and the sudden warmth that spread in my heart because of the realization that Alzheimer's could take away uppa's words and his thoughts, but it could never take away the father in him. The same father who would scold us that Harry Potter was just fantasy, and still travel to Mangalore just so he could he get us the new book we were so eagerly waiting for.